Today is: Invisible and sneaking into the Girls' Locker Room.

NO, as a matter of fact it doesn't make any damn sense! So what? Does anything really have to make sense to get people's attention. If I could add video clips of stuff being blown up by a hollywood star while he/she is killling a million bad guys with only 2 small handguns, no reloading, because they will just get the firepower off of the dead bad guys, anything and everything wouldn't even matter and would be considered in the best interest of the country at large and maybe even patriotic. God Bless America!

Deep thought for today: We ARE the champions and we WILL rock you!

Today is: Sticky and warm

It's official, when I get my own place there will be no molasses allowed anywhere on the premises. It stinks, it tastes like crap, and when it gets dropped and the bottle breaks, it gets everywhere and it's like cleaning up tar: the more you try to clean, the messier it becomes. Did I mention that it really stinks?

Oh, anyway. I get to turn in the wonderful damned job apps I picked up yesterday. What fun that'll be!

Last night, I'm going through the apps I got and filling them out and I notice one of them has the dumbest questions I've heard on an application. Things like: Please tell us about your strengths and weaknesses, How would you describe your personality? Okay, what the hell is with the psychological exam?

Look, I could understand the psycho-babble if I were applying for someplace like the FBI, NSA, or Secret Service, but this application is for the local "dollar store". I mean, come on, a psych test for the "dollar store"? I think we know who needs the test: the people who came up with the questions!

Deep thought for the day: Ugly Baby Judges You!

Today is: Mentally confused and prone to wandering

Sort of like me. I went to Tyrone Mall today to look for work. Okay, yes, I am looking in the local mall for employment. Yes, I'm getting desperate for work. That's not the bad part. The bad thing is walking around the mall, looking in all of the varied stores for the all-empowered NOW HIRING or EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE signs and walking past the Aeropostale store for the third time in a row before realizing I am walking in big frickin' circles because my short-term memory is now completely shot. Jesus, I'm not old enough for my mind to be this fried. I'm not even 30 yet, for Christ's sake. Oh, well, at least I have a good excuse for forgetting important dates now.

Deep thought for today: The Matrix has you. More specifically, nude pictures of you that it plans on posting on the Internet porn sites. I've seen them. Ewww!

Today is: Easy. Easy like sunday morning. Go figure.

Okay, I know I had something profound to say earlier today, but now it's...fading...fading....fading...GONE! I really hate when that happens! I have lost my mind again. If you happen to find it let me know. Best place to look is the gutter. Please tell him I miss him and would like him to come home.

Deep thought for today: If someone gives you a wooden nickel to buy a cup of yellow snow, Just Say No! At least hold out until the nice stranger offers you candy!

Today is: Lost, confused, and slightly cloudy

Okay, just a few words of advice, kids. If you have a "million-dollar idea" in your head, a way to have it possibly produced by a corporation, and a meeting with said corporation to see if they like your "million-dollar idea", do yourself a favor: don't drive all the way to the meeting with the corporation and arrive just in time to realize you have left your "million-dollar idea" at home on your dining room table. It really won't do you any damned good. Luckily, I, the now self-proclaimed World's Biggest Jackass have a second chance because I can fine-tune my idea and mail it to the corporation for consideration.

Deep thought for today: If my mind were an egg, it would be heavily scrambled to a golden-brown with a nice side of scrapple.

P.S. For those who don't know...

Scrapple:(noun): a seasoned mixture of ground meat (as pork) and cornmeal set in a mold and served sliced and fried. Good stuff!

Well, let's see... my family is out enjoying a nice dinner at Outback Steakhouse, my girlfriend is out with her friends at Biff Burger, and here I sit with A PB&J on toasted potato bread... yummy. Of course, my girlfriend offers to bring home something for dinner. Do I say "Yes, that would be great honey. Thanks."

If you said yes, one thing, Drugs Are Bad...mmkay. So, yes, it's my own stupid fault. Now, I can't spell Hell with the letters P, B, or J.

Although, I am keeping myself by having a lively conversation my stomach. It growls at me, I growl back. Yeah, not exactly one of my saner times. hehe... hehe...

Random Thought: They're coming to take me away, haha, hoho, hehe. They're coming to take me away...

Today is: Air-conditioned for your comfort

Why is it when you ask someone to call you when they figure out what is happening that day, and they promise "Oh yeah. No problem. I'll call you either way so you know what's going on.", they never do. So here I sit, wondering waht's going on because they didn't bother to call and say anything. I am unable to plan anything definite and getting more annoyed by the moment, because I have no way to get a hold of them now. DAMN IT ALL!!!

Deep thought for the day: Thank God it's Friday... MY ASS!

Is it just me or does everybody on the damned planet think that they own the road. I pull around a corner for a right turn and the car that was easily half of a block away rolls up at high speed, slaps on his brakes and proceeds to drive around to my driver's side window, and yell at me as though I'm the one who can't drive. Two words, pal: Get Bent!That is, of course, the nicest thing I could say about him, and definitely not what I had to say to him at that moment. No, I, like most others, proceeded to show him he was "number one" and tell him exactly what I thought of him and his apparent inability to control his car. Why do I let people get under my skin like that! AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!

Random Thought: Son of a B!#&%... Mother %*^#@!$... No, it's okay, I'm okay. 'Cause I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog-gone it.... Oh, forget it. Where's the Uzi?

P.S. Just kidding about the Uzi...

Today is: Slightly surreal

Okay, I don't have problems getting an erection. I have never had problems getting one. So why do I keep getting these damn unsolicited e-mails for Viagra. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the fact that some random company is looking out for me and making sure I haven't "fallen and can't get up", so to speak, but not 20 or more freakin' e-mails a day, people. Damn!

Deep thought for today: Get Cat Schwartz some ice-cold strawberry Quik! Now, dammit,! Now!

Holy Crap! Here's a big frickin' surprise to my day. I am on Hot or Not, and haven't been scoring all that well until now. I guess the right picture can make all the difference... Just click on the RATE ME! at the bottom to check it out for yourself... Just to let let you know I do not work for Hot or Not, I am just very happy with my recent score and want to share it with people...

HOT or NOT 9.2 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 15 votes Rate me!

Today is: cool and comfy

Yeah, I said comfy. So, bite me. Anyway, I have just about given up on job searching on my own. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this but it seems I'm going to have to do the thing I despise and go to (insert ominous music here) A TEMP SERVICE... yeah, that's right I hate temp services. Especially when I have a $400 stunt-fighting class in my experience, not to mention a pretty well-rounded Commercial Art/Video Production education. It really sucks having the "skills to pay the bills" and no where to show them off. Oh well... "Obla Dee, Obla Da, Life goes on, bro..." You ever notice there really is a song written for just about every part of life. Okay, maybe that's a poor excuse for my extraneous use of song lyrics in my blog. Deal with it... :P

Deep thought for today: If life is a bowl of cherries, why does mine seem to be a lemon?

Okay I'm awake now, and I can't tell you how happy that makes me. Actually, I'm still miserable, because I have something irritating the hell out of my stomach. Multiple bathroom trips are so fun (Sarcasm, people!) Although I get to watch Sarah on her SarahCam on the TechTV website: www.techtv.com or more specifically, http://www.techtv.com/interact/behindthescenes/story/0,23350,3393782,00.html. Just click on the ScreenSavers SarahCam, you'll be glad you did...
So not all is wrong with the world...

Random Thought: If not you... Why not I? (Yeah, confused myself, too)

Just Curious: Why can't Sarah Lane have her own damn show on TechTV? That would be sweet. Not that I'm obsessed with Sarah or anything... ok, maybe a little, nut she's cool, funny, cute and whip-smart. From what little I know about her anyway from watching TechTV and going to her website: (Plug Alert! Plug Alert!) www.sarahlane.com
You should seriously check it out. her "picture box" alone is worth the trip. But again, just my opinion along with countless others. I know, I talk about Sarah like I'd ever actually get a chance to meet her or talk to her in person. But One can dream, can't One?

Random Thought: Sarah, Sarah, No time is a good time for goodbyes.... (yeah, more song lyrics) Get over it!

Today is: Bleary and rainy and I am nauseous

I am not competely awake as of yet, but I have a blog now and I feel I should get my butt out of bed to say something, darn it! More later (maybe) when I finally wake up completely. For now, I'm going to watch my favorite station, TechTV! Yippee!

Random Thought: Get a load of me. Get a load of you. Walking down the street and I hardly know you... (Okay, Okay, it's song lyrics... so sue me. It's a damn good song, in my opinion)

Today is: Getting Better

Finally talked with some old friends I haven't seen in years. It's amazing the amounts of useless crap you can talk about with in a private chatroom. Just left a comment on a cute picture of Sarah on www.sarahlane.com, you should definitely check it out, she is a complete cutie. Tell her James sent you. :) Oh, and if you're reading this, Sarah, you can join my chatroom anytime!

Random thought: SARAH LANE, PLEASE MARRY ME!

Today is... Crappy.

If there's so many possibilities out there, where are they? I sit here and wonder about that. I have experience coming out the yin-yang and yet can't find a decent line of work. Oh, on a completely different tangent: Am I the only one having weird dreams about Sarah Lane, Morgan Webb and Cat Schwartz involving pygmies with kiwis and bananas.... umm,.... never mind.

Today's deep thought: If you love New York... why don't you marry it?!