4.12.2007

Today is: a good day to consider existentialism

"Why?", you may ask. Because I have been busting my ass applying for jobs I know damn well I'm qualified for and yet I'm still not working. I have not been able to find a job in over a year. I really don't understand waht I'm doing wrong anymore.

I go in with an upbeat, positive attitude; I put my best foot forward; I write down all my job history, which is mostly stock work in retail, warehouses, etc. and apply for similar work in which I am qualified and yet...

NOTHING!

No call back, no interest whatsoever in hiring me. Now, don't think I'm just sitting back waiting for their call and hoping for a job to fall in my lap. Oh, no. I call back every job I apply to, multiple times, and get the standard response that the manager is still reviewing applications for the position; or even better, the position has already been filled, don't bother calling back.

I actually went to a job to apply around 11 am, and this was SUPER FUN, I fill out the app only to be told the manager just left, but should be back soon. Now, granted when I called ahead of time about the job they told me to come at 11am because the manager would be there and it would be the best time to catch him for an interview. So, I sat and waited for about 30 minutes for him to return.

Okay, fine. No big deal.

Then, as he comes in, the girl behind the counter tells the manager I was here for an interview. He leers at me as though I had taken his daughter's virginity behind his back in his bed, and he now wants me to spontaneously combust. He then goes out of his way to take a longer route, in the opposite direction, inside the building. So, I sit and wait for another 10-12 minutes.

Slightly more upset now. Still, no big deal.

Then, the girl behind the counter takes me inside to his office and I have a seat and wait 5 more minutes. Eventually, the manager comes in and without giving me a second glance, picks up my app, looks at it for approximately 3 seconds and tells me he's busy. (Insert uncomfortable silence here). I get up and tell him, "I understand", get in my truck, and leave.

I UNDERSTAND?! Yeah, right. I am now more confused than I can explain to myself, let alone anyone else. So, I go home, play out the rest of the day and go to bed. Next morning, I get up and think that maybe he was busy, it was a rough day, etc. So, in an effort, to let him know I'm really interested in the job, I get dressed somewhat decently and decide to drive over and talk to him in person about 9am.

APPARENTLY, I'M STUPID...

I arrive at the workplace and the manager is standing out front. Perfect, right? No....
I park, get out, and walk over to him. I introduce myself, just in case he forgot because it was a busy day and all. Tell him I was one of the guys who applied for the job yesterday and... "The job's been filled." Throws me the wanna-be fire starter stare again, and I say, "Okay, thank you.", get in ny truck and go home.

I can't tell you what this inability to get a decent job, inability to support my family, and random acts of hatred thrown my way is doing my self-esteem. No, seriously, because I don't have much left at this point. All I want is a good job with reasonably realistic wages and, instead, I get hostility and disinterest.

WHAT THE #%&*$@ ?!?

Quote for the Day: Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage... problem is the cage seems to be getting smaller all around me